User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Dino Crisis (Wondertale Ep. 4)
<-- Last episode : Next episode --> AN: sorry stoff. ---- *Here comes Stofferex. ACT -> |-| CHECK= *STOFFEREX - 100 ATK 200 DEF Missed the memo for extinction. Hasn't noticed yet. |-| TALK= *What the fuk you lookin at, mate? *Nev’r seen a dinosaur lounging around before? Stofferex’s first form of attack is a stream of fire which falls across the screen in diagonal lines with a few stragglers. Difficult to avoid, but not too damaging. *Stofferex tries to flip you off, but remembers he only has two fingers. This angers him more. ACT -> TALK *You tell Stofferex that he looks troubled. *Stofferex ignores your comment, though he grumbles to himself. *Troubled? Am not troubled! You don't ev'n know what troubled means! Yer the troubled one! Stofferex's second attack puts three boulders on the board with slight preparation time. A little tremor will appear and burst one of the three boulders, sending slow fragments across the board. This process will repeat. Easy to avoid, but deals fairly high damage. *Stofferex is avoiding eye contact, which is difficult, because his eyes are four inches wide. ACT -> TALK *You ask Stofferex what's wrong. *He seems uneasy... *Hmph. Of course you don't know. *I betcha HE doesn't know either! Exactly what you'd expect. *Stofferex adjusts his bowtie. ACT -> COMFORT *You ask Stofferex what's the occasion. *If it'll settle yer talkative mouth, today happens to be me birthday. *Not that anyone came around for it, though! *Guess the big 65 million isn't a good enough milestone to earn me some recognition! The first two attacks repeat in different patterns for the rest of the battle. *Does he know? Someone should tell him. *Not you, though. ACT -> COMFORT *You promptly apologize for not knowing sooner... *And sincerely wish Stofferex a happy birthday. *Uh! Well! I! *...alright. Thanks. *Stofferex looks reluctant to fight you. SPARE *Sorry for going off on ya', kiddo. *We Rex's are known to be a bit unlikable when we're angry. *Oh? What's that? I'm in yer way, you say? *Makes sense. I do weigh 1,860 kilograms. *I'll let you pass, lassie. *And with that, Stofferex uncomfortably shifts through the tight walls and stomps past you. *Does Loygan know there's a giant dinosaur in his home? *You decide to not bring it up. *Moving down the corridor and waving to Stofferex as you pass, the rest of the room behind him contains two separate pathways. *You decide to go to the right first, stepping into the room to see Green Toxic awaiting you. You swiftly turn back around. *A sign awaits you on the other side of the wall. The letters are impossibly tiny, and it's difficult to read even though you've put your face directly to it. Just barely, you can make out "DID U MISS US? ROACH SHOP DOWN AND TO THE LEFT. LET A COCKROACH BE UR SHOP COACH." *Faced with the decision of confronting Green Toxic or settling with cockroaches, you decide on the roaches. *The aforementioned room is dusty and dank, with nothing in sight except for a slight, mouse-sized crack in the wall. You knock politely and coo in case someone is inside. *A terrifyingly loud rumble is heard as the sound of a fuckton of tiny legs scramble across the ground. *You panic and shriek for only one representative to come out. The rumbling stops, and outcomes a tiny palmetto bug holding a miniature megaphone in their hand. *Gross. *hey. im a cockroach. *we're selling fundip and coffee. *want any? *You decide to support the cause and purchase both. *thanks. we work hard to make this stuff. *enjoy. *A collection of cockroaches emerges from the hole, carrying a small bowl of blue sugar and a pixie stick to go with it. Another group follows behind them, carrying a mug full of coffee. *You take both of them and smile, though your grin and appetite falter as a stray roach scrambles out from inside your bowl of sugar. ---- CURRENT INVENTORY: Cockroach Fun-dip - A pile of sugar equipped with a stick full of solidified sugar so you can eat sugar on your sugar. Goes in mouth, not nostrils. Cockroach Coffee - A mug full of hot energizer. It's impossibly sweet and reeks of hazelnut. ---- *Now appropriately stocked with disgusting confectionery, you are prepared to power through the rest of the RUINS and relocate Loygan. ---- yes, stoff's personality is 100% based off gradea and i have no regrets lmao hope these arent getting annoying or anything, i know im posting frequently but im running out of prewritten shit and ill slow down if people want me to Category:Blog posts